Thursday, May 5, 2016

Dad's Final Request

A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to university:"I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education,and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."

........And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer, and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father's time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased. Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there. 






Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.

He later went on to become a member of Congress..   


(As told to us by the financial planner who retired to full time RV.)  


Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Lighter Side of Doctorin'

As traveling RVers, there are times we need to see a doctor we may not be familiar with.  But lets hope it never comes down to this...

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic.  Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.  So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

This is what transpired:

Dr. Young:  "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.  Can you please help me ??"
Dr. Geezer:  "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young:  Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back.  That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young:  "Oh, no you don't,  --  that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back.  That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak  ---  I can hardly see anything !!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, " Here's your $1000 back."  (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back!  That will be $500."

Moral of story--Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer! "

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Bathtub Test

Bathtub Test


During our last stay in a San Antonio RV Park I had scheduled an appointment with a doctor.  We'd got to talking about getting older and nursing homes and I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a nursing home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub then we offer the person a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said, "a normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," he said, "a normal person would pull the plug.  Do you want a bed near the window?" 

Monday, July 16, 2012

Farmer Johns Chickens


Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway near Hidden Valley. But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.  So one day Farmer John called the local police station and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing my chickens."
Farmer Johns Chicken

"What do you want us to do?" asked the policeman.

"I don't care; just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day the policeman had the Public Works Dept. go out to erect a sign that said:
 

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING 

Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The school crossing sign seems to make them go even faster!" So, again, the policeman sends out the Public Works Dept. and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the policeman, "Your signs are doing no good at all ... Can I put up my own sign?"
The policeman said, "Sure, go ahead." He was willing to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling to complain.

The policeman got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the policeman and he decided to give Farmer John a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did,” replied Farmer John, “and not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.
The policeman was really curious and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign … it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers."

So he drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.  It was spray painted on a sheet of wood.... 


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"GO SLOW...

Nudist Colony, Watch out for Chicks




 

Friday, July 13, 2012

With Age Comes Wisdom

WITH AGE COMES WISDOM
An RVer at Hidden Valley was sitting in his boat fishing the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
fisherman
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
frog
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Monday, July 9, 2012

2012 RV Oops Awards

This is the first I heard of these awards and by listing them in RV Giggles...I don't mean to poke fun at the victims of these mishaps rather I hope that they can, along with a little giggle, these catastrophes can serve to teach us little lessons of what NOT to do in our RVs.  I found these in Motor Home Magazine and want to extend full credit to them and the author Larry MacDonald in the July5, 2012 printing:

2012 RV Oops Awards

MH1207_RV Oops
Photo Credit: Brent Schoonover
Larry Macdonald
July 5, 2012


“What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done while motorhoming?”
“Well, to be honest,” replied one fellow when I asked him this question, “in 19 years of motorhoming, I’ve never done anything stupid … until this year.” He then proceeded to tell me his woeful tale. Nearly everyone I asked could recall one or more mishaps they wish hadn’t happened to them. I recorded these mishaps and ranked them on a 10-item scale from dumb (No. 10) to dumbest (No. 1). Usually, dumber things are more costly. Readers may recall last year’s winner (Motor­Home, August 2011) totaled his coach by driving into a tollbooth with a slide extended.
A wise person once said, “Experience is the best teacher.” Maybe so, but a wiser person noted, “It’s better to learn from other people’s experiences.” So let’s have a look at this year’s list to find out why these dumb things occurred, and how you can avoid having them happen to you. Most of these motorhome owners would probably agree that nothing spoils a perfectly fine day like an avoidable blunder.  READ MORE