What To Say When Stopped for Speeding

A man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. 
The cop says to the man, “Are you aware of how fast you were going?”
The man replies, “Yes I am. I’m trying to escape a robbery.”
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “Were you the one being robbed?”
The man casually replies, “No, I committed the robbery.”
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “So you’re telling me you were speeding…AND committed a robbery?”
“Yes,” the man calmly says. “I have the loot in the back.”
The cop begins to get angry. “Sir, I’m afraid you have to come with me.” The cop reaches in the window to arrest the man.
“Don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “I’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!” The cop pulls his hand out and calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly. However, before he gets into the police car, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car.”
The man replies, “Yeah, and I bet that Story teller said I was speeding too!”

How to Tell if Your Wife is Hard of Hearing

My husband Marks favorite funny:
An elderly gentleman went to the doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The doctor suggested a test to learn the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move closer to determine how far away you are when she first responds.” The man, excited to finally be working on a solution, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper. “Honey,” the man asks standing around 20 feet away, “what’s for supper?” After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away, and again no response. Then again at 10 feet away and again still no response. Finally, when he was only five feet away, “Honey, what’s for supper?” She screams, “Jeez! For the fourth time, I said Chinese!!”

How to Set Up Camp in Record Time

A dad coming back to his campsite for sunscreen while the rest of his family plays at the lake notices a little travel trailer pulling up into a neighboring empty site. As soon as the engine dies, the doors fly open and four children of varying ages burst out and fly into a frenzy of activity. Their parents follow quickly behind them, with the mom and dad unloading gear as the kids rake the area, set up the picnic table, and arrange the fire pit. Amazed at their efficiency, the dad with the sunscreen walks over and watches for a moment more before commenting to the other father, “I’ve never seen a family work so well together—or so fast. I’m amazed!” “Yeah,” the other dad says while finishing up the RV leveling. “We live a few hours away and our policy is that nobody gets to go to the bathroom after the drive until the camp is set up.”

A Fishing Funny

Joe and Ed, both from Duluth, Minnesota, were sitting on a pier at the Fountain of Youth RV park at California’s Salton Sea discussing how happy they were to be in sunny California rather than back in frigid Minnesota. As they were talking, Ed noticed something funny about his friend’s ear. “Joe,” he said, “do you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Startled, Joe replied, “I have a suppository in my ear?!” “That’s right,” said Ed, “you have a suppository in your ear.” Joe immediately pulled it out, then said, “Thanks. Now I know where I put my hearing aid.”

Dad's Final Request

A father told his 3 sons when he sent them to university:"I feel it's my duty to provide you with the best possible education,and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die."

........And so it happened. His sons became a doctor, a lawyer, and a financial planner, each very successful financially. When their father's time had come and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, it was the doctor who put 10 $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased. Then, came the financial planner, who also put $1,000 there. 

Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer's turn. He dipped into his pocket, took out his checkbook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father's coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.

He later went on to become a member of Congress..   

(As told to us by the financial planner who retired to full time RV.)  

The Lighter Side of Doctorin'

As traveling RVers, there are times we need to see a doctor we may not be familiar with.  But lets hope it never comes down to this...

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic.  Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.  So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

This is what transpired:

Dr. Young:  "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.  Can you please help me ??"
Dr. Geezer:  "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young:  Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back.  That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr. Young:  "Oh, no you don't,  --  that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back.  That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak  ---  I can hardly see anything !!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, " Here's your $1000 back."  (giving him a $10 bill)
Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back!  That will be $500."

Moral of story--Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer! "

Who's Wiser...the Hunter or the Hunted?

The Bathtub Test

During our last stay in a San Antonio RV Park I had scheduled an appointment with a doctor.  We'd got to talking about getting older and nursing homes and I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in a nursing home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub then we offer the person a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said, "a normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," he said, "a normal person would pull the plug.  Do you want a bed near the window?" 

Farmer Johns Chickens

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway near Hidden Valley. But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.  So one day Farmer John called the local police station and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing my chickens."

"What do you want us to do?" asked the policeman.

"I don't care; just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day the policeman had the Public Works Dept. go out to erect a sign that said: 

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING 

Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The school crossing sign seems to make them go even faster!" So, again, the policeman sends out the Public Works Dept. and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the policeman, "Your signs are doing no good at all ... Can I put up my own sign?"

The policeman said, "Sure, go ahead." He was willing to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling to complain.

The policeman got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the policeman and he decided to give Farmer John a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did,” replied Farmer John, “and not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone.

The policeman was really curious and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign … it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers."

So he drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.  It was spray painted on a sheet of wood.... 

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

"GO SLOW...

 

With Age Comes Wisdom

WITH AGE COMES WISDOM
An RVer at Hidden Valley was sitting in his boat fishing the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

This is the first I heard of these awards and by listing them in RV Giggles...I don't mean to poke fun at the victims of these mishaps rather I hope that they can, along with a little giggle, these catastrophes can serve to teach us little lessons of what NOT to do in our RVs.  I found these in Motor Home Magazine and want to extend full credit to them and the author Larry MacDonald in the July5, 2012 printing:

2012 RV Oops Awards

Photo Credit: Brent Schoonover

Larry Macdonald
July 5, 2012

“What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done while motorhoming?”
“Well, to be honest,” replied one fellow when I asked him this question, “in 19 years of motorhoming, I’ve never done anything stupid … until this year.” He then proceeded to tell me his woeful tale. Nearly everyone I asked could recall one or more mishaps they wish hadn’t happened to them. I recorded these mishaps and ranked them on a 10-item scale from dumb (No. 10) to dumbest (No. 1). Usually, dumber things are more costly. Readers may recall last year’s winner (Motor­Home, August 2011) totaled his coach by driving into a tollbooth with a slide extended.
A wise person once said, “Experience is the best teacher.” Maybe so, but a wiser person noted, “It’s better to learn from other people’s experiences.” So let’s have a look at this year’s list to find out why these dumb things occurred, and how you can avoid having them happen to you. Most of these motorhome owners would probably agree that nothing spoils a perfectly fine day like an avoidable blunder.  READ MORE

Can You Believe What They're Calling Us Texans?

Down here in South Texas, many have labeled our folk, "rednecks."  We talk to many RVers from nearby states who also claim the title.  Mind you, we don't take offense at the label, matter of fact, we take pride in being able to poke fun of ourselves.  Besides, it gives us something to live up to.  Hehe.

I even notice that many of my Texan friends on Pinterest have entire pin boards dedicated to "Redneck Stuff."  (Don't tell anyone but I have a file on my computer desktop with redneck jokes, stories and pictures, too.)  During my tenure in Texas, I've come to realize it's a state of heart, not mind.

So in that spirit of reckless self-abandon, I give you the following list of Redneck Medical Terms:

Y'all go ahead and share this now...you know you want to.

Suthunuhs!

Gotta Love Us!

Southerners know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity -------------------------

Southerners know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick --------

Southerners know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah --------

Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Suthunuhs! Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind -----------

Southerners know their religions: Bapdiss Methdiss Football --------------

Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna ---------------

Southerners know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler -----------------

Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon --------------

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'! _____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. _____

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody! _____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural. _____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____

Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. _____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way. _____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart! _____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !

There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine! Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had a’been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.

1-800-HEAVEN

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by RVing to San Francisco and worked east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign which read: "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the Pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor explained that the golden phone was, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he paid the price he could talk directly to God. The man thanked the Pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , San Diego , Chicago , Greensboro , Tampa and all around the United States , he found more phones with the same sign and got the same answer from each Pastor.

Finally, he and his RV arrived in Texas . Upon entering a church in San Antonio, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the Pastor.

"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone. I have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents. Why?"
 








The Pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now... It's a local call."

A.A.A.D.D.

My husband recently sent me this email and said it fit me to a tee:

A. A. A. D. D. - Classic Retirement Syndrome 
- Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my small RV garden.

As I turn on the hose , I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the storage shed, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that the manager brought by from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take the trash to the park dumpster first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered.

I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover one of my 10 pairs of reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the chair where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head toward the other end of the RV trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

• The car isn't washed.
• The bills aren't paid.
• There is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface.
• The flowers don't have enough water.
• There is still only one check in my checkbook.
• I can't find the TV remote.
• I can't find my glasses and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Let me clarify, this is not our office...yet

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

PS. I just remembered, I left the water running......................................

Inbred Cat

Everyone's heard of how inbreeding can cause birth defects and this can be true in the animal kingdom as well.  This photo displays the possible outcome of such inbreeding and serves as a warning for pet owners to be cautioned when breeding their pets with other members of their pet family.  The "Inbred Cat" below is a classic case. 

 

I know, pretty silly.

Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale.'  He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.



The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA.

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard'

RV Dictionary-The Real Meanings

Found this online and wanted to share the lighter side of RV technology/terminology...
Ever wondered the real meaning of some of the common RV phrases and lingo? If so, you need to read this "Lug_Nut Wacky Glossary for Recreational Vehicles." I isn’t quite the “RV Language for Dummies”, but should help you in understanding the real meanings of some of the more common words and phases associated with RVing.
A

Air Brakes: Useful if awnings deploy during high speed travel. (See Awnings)

Air Horns: Used late at night in campgrounds by Air Heads.
Allison Tranny: The girl that works the RV show information booth that is married to Joe Tranny.
Awnings: Wing like appendages that can deploy at high speeds in heavy wind to add lift and reduce vehicle weight. (Also see Air Brakes)

B

Back Up Camera: Always a good idea. Your Canon single lens reflex could crap out.

Batteries: Black square things that are capable of lighting your coach for about 15 minutes when it is not plugged in.
Boondocking: Being unable to figure out how to plug the RV in to an electrical outlet.

C

Campsite Power Pedestal: A place to anchor your RV using wires and hoses. Also acts as a bumper if you drive too far off the pad. Sometimes seen dragging behind a departing RV.

Charger: A small piece of plastic that that is frequently used to fix stuff on your RV that breaks, also called Visa.
Clearance Lights: Electrical light bulbs on sale.

D

Departure Angle: A scheme to skip camp before your new found friend, Cousin Eddy, wakes up.

Diesel Engine: Sounding like a herd of knock kneed cattle, it serves as a sign of departing camp within the next hour or two.
Diesel Pusher: A class “A” motor home with a diesel engine mounted in the rear, thereby pushing it.
Diesel Puller: A tow truck or wrecker attached to the front of a class “A” motor home.
Discount RV Resort: Walmart. (Note: At this time there are no class “A” only Walmarts)
Docking Lights: Handy for RVing after dark in flood prone regions.
F

Fantastic Fan: Any electric table fan you can find if your air conditioning breaks down.

Fifth Wheel: Your mother-in-law on an otherwise, nice camping weekend.

Full Body Paint: Great for Halloween, but hard to wash off.
G

GPS Navigation: A video game that is legal to play while driving.

H

Halogen Ceiling Lights: Good lighting that can illuminate an RV for about 2 hours before the bulb burns out.

Head: Also referred to as “The John”, “The Great White Thrown”, “The Thunder Bowl”
I

In-Motion Dish: A round like salad bowl with rubber on the bottom to prevent sliding while moving. Great for popcorn. Also a name for a dish left on the counter during a panic stop event.

J
Jake Brake: Similar to a smoke break but Jake is usually smoked in a pipe.

K

K.O.A.: Kertainly a great plake to kamp. You kan usually rely on konsisent kamping servikes. They kan be found in the U.S. and Kanada.

L

Leveling Jacks: A camping board game played with a level bubble and a dice. If a player breaks the windshield the other players win by default.

M

Mouse: Usually accompanied by other ones, thereby better described as mice. These normally occupy the little inhabited RV basement.

N

No Address Found: Standard response to any location entered in the GPS navigating. Usually followed by “Make A U-Turn If Possible” and the often repeated "recalculating."

O

Outdoor Entertainment Center: Grey screen that provides hours of entertainment trying to determine what’s on during a normal bright sunny day.

P

Pop-Up: An annoying page that pops up while on your computer.

S
Sewer Hose: Colorful leaky hose, much like a soaker hose, but smellier.
Shower (RV Shower): It is difficult to express the showering experience felt in an entry level RV, but, perhaps it could be best described as standing naked in a closet with a wet dog.
Service (RV Service): A mythical belief which its existence is yet to be confirmed. Much like the Abominable Snowman.
Slide Out: Great for meeting new people while getting leaks and malfunctions fixed in service shops.
Spring Park Brake: Actually pronounced “Spring Break Park”, a gathering place for spring breakers near Fort Lauderdale.

T

Tag Axle: An axle on sale at a dealer usually associated with a red tag special.

Trailer Hitch Ball: Wild wedding party in a trailer park.
W
Warranty: This is a period of time after which the vehicle self destructs.
Wet Hubs: Found on the front axle. Most common cause is a large male dog.

Reprinted from: The Lug_Nut RV Whacky Glossary. The Real Meanings

A Texan Fable

Most people who've traveled in Texas know that Texans love their state. Here's a reason why:

A man in Topeka, Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and worked east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued by a sign which read: "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the Pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor explained that the golden phone was, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he paid the price he could talk directly to God. The man thanked the Pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle , San Diego , Chicago , Greensboro , Tampa and all around the United States , he found more phones with the same sign and got the same answer from each Pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Texas . Upon entering a church in Dallas , behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the Pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone. I have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents. Why?"




The Pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now... It's a local call."

Be Careful How You Abrieviate

Found this 'funny" in a camping guide and thought I'd share...

A rather old fashioned lady from New York, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Texas with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.
"Does the camping ground have its own B.C." is what she wrote.

Well, the camping ground owner wasn't a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the  lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around to a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.

"Dear Madam,I regret very much the delay in answering
your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located
nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at
one time.I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of
going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of
campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They
usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.

"The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.
"I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but
it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the
time.As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the
cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could
go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the
other folks.
Remember this is a very friendly community.