Thursday, May 31, 2012

Can You Believe What They're Calling Us Texans?

Down here in South Texas, many have labeled our folk, "rednecks."  We talk to many RVers from nearby states who also claim the title.  Mind you, we don't take offense at the label, matter of fact, we take pride in being able to poke fun of ourselves.  Besides, it gives us something to live up to.  Hehe.

I even notice that many of my Texan friends on Pinterest have entire pin boards dedicated to "Redneck Stuff."  (Don't tell anyone but I have a file on my computer desktop with redneck jokes, stories and pictures, too.)  During my tenure in Texas, I've come to realize it's a state of heart, not mind.

So in that spirit of reckless self-abandon, I give you the following list of Redneck Medical Terms:

Redneck Medical Definitions
Y'all go ahead and share this know you want to.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Gotta Love Us!

Southerners know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity -------------------------

Southerners know their vacation spots: The beach The rivuh The crick --------

Southerners know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah --------

Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Suthunuhs! Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind -----------

Southerners know their religions: Bapdiss Methdiss Football --------------

Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn S'vanah Foat Wuth N'awlins Addlanna ---------------

Southerners know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler -----------------

Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon --------------

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. _____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. _____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'! _____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. _____

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. _____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. _____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody! _____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, “y'all” is singular, “all y'all” is plural. _____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. _____

Every Southerner knows that tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; that scrambled eggs just ain’t right without Tabasco , and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! _____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. _____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her sweet little heart"... and go your own way. _____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your little heart! _____

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they’re fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fah-evah !

There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine! Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had a’been! If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.