How to Tell if Your Wife is Hard of Hearing

My husband Marks favorite funny:
An elderly gentleman went to the doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The doctor suggested a test to learn the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move closer to determine how far away you are when she first responds.” The man, excited to finally be working on a solution, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper. “Honey,” the man asks standing around 20 feet away, “what’s for supper?” After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away, and again no response. Then again at 10 feet away and again still no response. Finally, when he was only five feet away, “Honey, what’s for supper?” She screams, “Jeez! For the fourth time, I said Chinese!!”

How to Set Up Camp in Record Time

A dad coming back to his campsite for sunscreen while the rest of his family plays at the lake notices a little travel trailer pulling up into a neighboring empty site. As soon as the engine dies, the doors fly open and four children of varying ages burst out and fly into a frenzy of activity. Their parents follow quickly behind them, with the mom and dad unloading gear as the kids rake the area, set up the picnic table, and arrange the fire pit. Amazed at their efficiency, the dad with the sunscreen walks over and watches for a moment more before commenting to the other father, “I’ve never seen a family work so well together—or so fast. I’m amazed!” “Yeah,” the other dad says while finishing up the RV leveling. “We live a few hours away and our policy is that nobody gets to go to the bathroom after the drive until the camp is set up.”